Love Yourself into Your Next Evolution

Published May 4, 2012 | By Shelley Hawkins

I love myself project The problem with concepts like self-love is they become interwoven into our common vernacular before their meaning is fully absorbed. Something so vital as loving yourself has become almost cliché-ish. We can talk a good game of self-love before we have realized it in our lives. Yet is central to everything else we become. The conversation is ripe for an evolution of where we go with it next.

Loving yourself is moving into a new era…

Grown up from its psychological and personal development beginnings in the mid twentieth century. We’re demanding a deeper meaning, a deeper “why,” a deeper self-care, even if we haven’t acknowledged it to ourselves. We want to know more about what loving ourselves will really do for our lives, our businesses, our relationships, our impact; to evolve it beyond its simplistic roots, the adrenaline rush of determined personal development, or the other-world-ness of the meditation corner.

Even the online thesaurus still references self-love with egotism, narcissism, arrogance, and over developed pride. There is a vortex of sorts still dissolving with false associations to loving the self, as if we cannot trust ourselves with it. Dare we cross the line into more?!

The good news is states of true arrogance or narcissism are merely another form of self-loathing, or feelings of inadequacy, not self-adoration. We hold them to protect ourselves from being seen, trying to hold up a self we think the world is looking for.

There’s more good news. The fruits of true self-love generate states of peace, depth, prosperity, vision, stability, generosity, joy, courage, bliss, and creativity. Is there really a limit to such qualities, or such a thing as too much?

Logically, we talk about loving yourself “first” in order to love others and cultivate more love in the world. I imagine a staircase with two choices, up or down, and a third non-choice of static ambivalence. But does love really grow in only a linear, polar opposite direction for self or anything else—either on or off?

I imagine deep self-love is sparked in a spiral movement gathering momentum, tools, and focus along the way and drawing into the spiral of our lives according to how we relate to ourselves. Here the deep value of self-love reveals itself spilling over into what we bring to the lives of others.

“What is it we are questing for?”,
asks Joseph Campbell in Pathways to Bliss.

“It is the fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for it is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the world, which is yourself. There is nothing you can do that’s more important than being fulfilled. You become a sign, you become a signal, transparent to transcendence; in this way you will find, live, become a realization of your own personal myth.”

To love yourself to greater and greater depth is really to end the battle with ego, integrating that part of you in such a way that you see through the eyes of soul without fear of “too much self-love.” As a reader of this article, you are likely part of a small percentage of humanity that can pioneer this new paradigm of loving ourselves into an awareness that we unfold as our own destiny. To do this, loving ourselves is essential.

Why then is loving yourself so important to unfolding your destiny, to a truly fulfilling life, relationships, and business? Here are five impacts of increasing and integrating a new paradigm of Self Love for yourself:

Changes how you see your place in the world. If you have been struggling to bring your gifts forward, to be visible, to make an impact, the many facets of self-love transformed and developed within you will end this battle and make it into the destiny you now live and unfold.
Increases your ability to listen and act on your intuition, to live from soul. When you are building your business, your relationships, and your life intentionally, learning to relate to your intuition is essential. Self-love, esteem and regard determine your willingness to act on it. Self-trust is the core of a soul-centered (and therefore streamlined) life.
Open your relationships to vulnerability. Self-love that penetrates to the depths of who you are and then expands into a world through your unique perspective moves on the channels of vulnerability. Dissolving what internally holds your authentic self hostages the masks, the fears, the not-enoughness, this opens you to a new relationship with vulnerability. To learn more, watch Brene Brown’s You Tube videos on vulnerability.
Connects you with all of Life, Life Force, self, others, nature, meaning. Self-love connects you with deep belonging to all of Life so you can realize your meaning beyond the superficial ups and downs of daily living.
Energizes you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. In very practical terms, self-love, really vibrant self-love, gives you energy for daily living. This translates into goals accomplished, intentions manifested, a body that is alive, choices that propel you forward.
Supports choices on your own behalf. With big visions, lots of creativity, and big hearts, a common sticking point is over giving, serving beyond your means. Self-love dissolves these into the ability to make choices for wise-selfishness.
Connects you with your deep value. When you’re connecting with a deeper and deeper sense of your value, the choices you need to make for your next business vision, your next life step, in relationships, how you relate to money, how you eat and care for your body all draw from the deep rootedness in the previous impacts in this list. The inevitable outcome coupled with powerful intention propels you into your potential, your unique soul potential.

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